Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Day 7 & 8 - Migraines & The "Look"

Hello Everyone,

I was unable to write yesterday's post, as I had a severe migraine and couldn't look at my phone, let alone the computer screen. My life was a "dark room."

My day started out great, 6 am in the gym for my first round of circuit training and some light cardio...the endorphins kicked in and I was good to go! I did a lot before breakfast, even with only getting 3 1/2 hours of sleep...thanks to little man. *evil glare*

After I left the gym and hyped up on those endorphins, I whipped up some eggs and bacon, for me and little man. Whipped up a breakfast shake with some Greens...yum!

As I planned on doing more with my day, Mark included... I was slammed with a massive migraine that took all that away. Four Motrin, a giant glass of strong coffee and three naps was finally gone. Thankfully, Mark crashed with me for two of those naps, so my sister was actually still able to enjoy most of her day.

A new cabinet I ordered last week arrived, but I haven't been able to put it together yet. Kind of hard to do when you're toddler still thinks the umbilical cord is attached. Some days, I wish they had some "toddler repellent." (You know you've thought about it too...don't lie.) Actually, I think they have something similar... like spray bottle with water. Mark HATES that. Maybe he's half cat... okay, we're going off topic...

Monday - started great - ended, thankfully without a migraine.


Oh, Tuesday... how I've been looking forward to you since Saturday. Today is Mark's first official My Gym class. He gets to meet a whole new group of friends to mingle with, while I get the look from the peanut gallery, because I'm a single mom. Apparently, not many women think they have this option.

Have you seen that look before? The one that makes you feel like the odd ball. Yeah. Not such a great feeling. But, I shrug it off and watch Mark be a kid. Enjoy the happy little moments that I get to share with him. Screw the look.

That look starts gossip. It creates labels & hurt feelings. No one has time for that. Especially, not this single mama. If you're a stay-at-home-mom, befriend a single mom. You don't know the circumstances that lay beneath the struggles of her doing a job of both parents.  It's definitely not easy. Half the time, I feel like I'm losing my mind & the other half I feel like I'm screwing up. But, Mark smiles and giggles and has his quirky moments... but he's mine and I'm his. No look is going to take that away.

I come from a family, where I was privileged to have both parents - still married - after 33 years. We moved a lot when I was younger, I know that look from my peers of constantly having to move. Constantly trying to blend in enough to know that, within a few weeks or months, I would be gone. 

So, for Mark:

I rather play the role of both parents. I rather protect my son, then settle with a toxic person. I rather have conversations with other parents about my son interacting with their child(ren). I rather him have a routine of play-dates. I rather him be involved with teams, school and clubs.

Moving on...

Once I was able to get Mark down for a nap, I looked around and wondered what I was going to be able to accomplish while I was "toddler free" for a few hours (at least). I could seriously build my new cabinet, but because I have to build it in the same room (that he's currently in), I'd risk the chance of waking him ahead of schedule and dealing with an over-tired toddler. I'll wait til tonight for the cabinet...thanks. I have a pile of clean laundry that is sitting there, staring at me, begging for me to put it away, but I can't. Well, I can. But, today is one of those lazy days - probably because I'm sore from yesterday's circuit training.

To Sleep or Not To Sleep...? As I'm sitting here yawning, it might be best to get a little nap in while I can. I hate wasting the day, or afternoon for that matter, but I'm exhausted. EX-HAUS-TED! Yes, sleep it is!

After our nap... my 30 minute nap and Mark's 2 hour nap... I ended up with another severe migraine that resulted in more coffee, Motrin and another nap, this time being 2 1/2 hours long. I was out. Dead to the world. Couldn't hear Mark (apparently), constantly coming in and out of the room asking for me.

While I was up until 3am tonight, building my new cabinet. I finally have some organization in place. I cleared out a big clear plastic drawer thing that you can find at Walmart. I upgraded. And, now it doesn't look as cluttered before. Win!

I am going to be missing gym this morning. I won't do another workout on 3 hours of sleep. I still haven't full recovered or been able to get my sleeping pattern back on since. I've been super sluggish all day. I'll have to do double on Friday morning.

Until tomorrow...

Click here for Day 9.


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